


Dungeon Crawl

by Slaveofcats



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 06:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13920996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaveofcats/pseuds/Slaveofcats
Summary: Anya and Xander take on a Dragon. It doesn't go well.





	Dungeon Crawl

Anya's exclamation of fright was quite audible as the large boulder she was using as cover was engulfed in flame. Despite her mild affinity for fire that often caused something to be set ablaze inadvertently, she definitely was not at all comfortable with it being hurled in her general direction by the not so friendly dragon.

“You stupid oaf!” she wailed while sending a harsh glare at her so called comrade. “You are suppose to be distracting the stupid thing so I can attack it with spells! Remind me why I employ you again?”

Xander cringed with shame. It wasn't his fault that the bolts of electric and ice at the sorceress' call were quite effective at agitating the beast. That precise moment however wasn't the most opportune time to feel guilt, with said beast lunging to cleave him in two. He weaved past the claws to roll under its belly, escaping its attention briefly. No longer preoccupied with the warrior, the dragon turned its attention to the sole mystic, who was still indigently throwing spells at it.

“Xa...xa...xan...xa... **XANDER**! **HELP**!”

Just as the dragon was breathing in to release a gout of flame that surely would of slain the foolish woman, Xander lunged up with his blade to stab it in the heart. After all, he couldn't have it scorch his source of payment. The gathering blaze turned to smoke in its mouth, as it began to teeter in its death throes. Having decided he would not like to be crushed to death on principle, Xander hastily scrambled out from under the dying creature and leapt away. He was rewarded with not being smother by the large bulk, with the added bonus of not mouthful of dirt as he landed painfully the dungeon floor.

“Took you long enough. I was about to be burnt to a crisp!”

Anya, ever the prepubescent brat, was standing over him with her hands on her hips in annoyance.

“My apologies Mistress,” Xander intoned, as he stood up and began dusting himself off. It was generally not wise to insult the one who payed you, and he was not going to start now. Not to her face at least.

“Apology accepted. Now skin her for her hide and lets get out of...” her speech slowly dropped off.

“Oh  _what_ now? Did you break a nail, Mistress? Sacrifices are expected to be made in order to be adventurers...” the tirade died on his lips as he noticed a shadow towering over the both of them.

Xander banged his head against the table. “Oh _come_ on! A _second_ dragon? It wasn't enough for you to throw one at us in a single dungeon crawl, but _two_?! Why must you be so cruel Dawnie?”

Dawn shrugged in response.  
  
Anya interjected, “Like she would live in that retched place without a mate. Of course there is a second dragon. Who do you think she has sex with?” She took a sipped of her coffee. “Do you even pay attention when we steal Rupert's texts to do research to make these campaigns so they're extremely accurate?”

Xander groaned. “Why can't it be a _normal_  dungeon with the nice uneventful carousel back to the entrance, followed by a quick hop and skip back to town to buy marvelous loots with our newly acquired dragon gold?”

Dawn smirked at his wonderful rant. “If you're going to be that glum about, we can just have the second dragon kill you outright so you can can be our resident handy man and fix the sink in the kitchen.”

Anya quickly frowned, “Xander can't be your plumber. He's  _my_ sexy shirtless fighter who is going to kill the second dragon for me, and then make with the gratuitous sex back at the inn. Right, Xander?”

He let gravity slam his head into the table this time.

**Author's Note:**

> One of my earliest attempts at fanfiction from a college writing club prompt that required the usage of 'exclamation, comfortable, shame, coffee, dragon, smoke, shadow, employ, plumber and carousel.'


End file.
